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Moms, Are You The Family C.E.O.?

My friend has a plaque hung on her home office door that says,

Mom

C.E.O. Of The Clives Family

I thought that was not only cute, but fitting for the mom of today. Most moms have the full load of after-school activities, shopping, and the budget. I know as a single mom I have no one else to share these responsibilities with, but even when I was married it was on me to handle. There are things that moms can do or use to make life more simplified like freezer cooking, scheduling reminders, shopping for groceries bi-monthly or once monthly, or money management sites like mint.com.

I personally do a little freezer cooking. I mostly make my breads and muffins for a month and freeze them. My daughter loves banana nut muffins and raisin bread so I try to have some on hand in the freezer. At times, I make ahead lasagna or enchiladas. I think I have said it once before, I try and limit my grocery shopping to once a month. I do, however, make a special trip for milk once a week. I have a strict budget that I layout for myself and hit it almost all the time. I am not at all perfect but strive to do my best.
I was wondering what the mom’s out there consider to be one of their biggest tools to make life easier for them. Leave a comment below and share it.

Do You Have The Supermom Syndrome?

When I read the below article, I can say that this year I can definately relate. With all the craziness with my grandmother I have been trying to be this super human and get everything done and still find all the time in the world for my daughter. I go to bed tired and wake up tired, I could swear that I work in my sleep. I hope that you all can relate.
The Supermom Syndrome
By Marina Chernyak, the owner of 1001Shops LLC

We see it every day: Supermom’s who seem to juggle work, three kids, a dog, and managing a home without batting an eyelash. They seem so in control of things, and that nothing fazes them. However, we fail to see that behind that Supermom, is a woman struggling to keep up with her needs against the needs thrust upon her by her world. Take for example this mom from an episode of Grey’s Anatomy a couple of seasons ago: because she was too busy keeping her children underfoot, she had failed to take time to eat and nourish herself, thus she ended up in the emergency room.

I think part of the problem is that many women are made to feel guilty about the choices they make when it comes to becoming either a working mom or a stay-at-home mom. Working Moms find themselves conflicted between the demands of work and parenting, sometimes, just like the character of Lynette on Desperate Housewives, finding themselves in a quandary when they have important deadlines to meet and a child who needs their attention. On the other hand, Stay-at-Home Moms can also find themselves questioning their choices. For some SAHM’s, insensitive comments such as “you’re wasting away (intellectually/professionally)” can be infuriating.

While I am not sure if the “Supermom Syndrome” is an official term, but in an article I came across in Women’s Health Matters, it was said that we should strive not to be “Supermom” but to be a “super mom”. To become this, it is important for Mom’s to remember that they need to take care of themselves, too. After all, how can we care for others when we are incapacitated, whether physically, mentally, emotionally or psychologically?

Here are some steps Mommies can take to keep themselves in tip-top shape holistically:

Go out to lunch with friends! Taking time out to be with other adults can allow a Mom to feel like her ‘old self’ again.
Schedule periodic self-care activities, such as pampering spa treatments, manicures, or a haircut.
Set aside a 15-20 minute “Me” time daily. During this time, no phone calls from work or yells of “MOOOOOOM” will be entertained, unless of course it’s an emergency with the children.
Having “Date Night” with the hubby on a regular basis can also keep women feeling special and loved.
Letting go of the guilt Mommy’s feel, especially those who are forced to work several jobs, is not easy too, no matter how much they love their careers. It is but a normal response to feel a tug at their heartstrings when they have to leave for work and they hear their baby crying out to them. For some, they feel jealous of the closeness their kids build with their nannies or sitters. However, what Mom’s can do to ease the guilt can include the following:

Setting boundaries between work and family that is met consistently and firmly, NO MATTER WHAT. For example, telling their colleagues/partners/bosses that they will not receive calls or work during dinner time so they can spend time with the children.
Create little family rituals, such as setting aside a regular bedtime story time for the kids or doing something together every weekend, can help ease the guilt and sadness of having to spend so much time apart.
Try to create a work schedule that can accommodate special activities your kids are involved in. For example, try to find out months in advance when your kids recitals, programs or competitions are set and plan this ahead.
Being a Supermom is no easy feat. In fact, most women struggle with trying to fit into Supermom’s shoes. The problem is, many times, we forget that we don’t have to be that person. What matters is that we are the best mom’s we can be for our kids, wouldn’t you agree? This way, we can be a SUPER MOM.

Be sure and visit the author, Marina Chernyak, who is the co-owner of 1001Shops LLC, an online store of fine imported products like Music Boxes, Walking canes and Venetian Masks.


 

My Story Of How I Started to Work-At-Home

Before my daughter was born, I worked as a retail manager for 10 years and worked wild and crazy hours that usually ended up adding up to 50-80 hours a week. My husband worked two jobs and was only home for a few hours a day with one day off a week from both. We had set ourselves goals to be financially sound in 3 years (had student loans and vehicles to pay off). I was told at 16 that I wouldn’t be able to have children and the doctor’s reconfirmed it at age 21. When we first got married we set a goal of starting the adoption process after 5 years of marriage. Well, 2 years into our marriage we found out that I was expecting our first child. I remember feeling so many emotions at once like being scared, excited, and confused. As my pregnancy went along I developed toxemia. Because of my toxemia I ended up having to deliver her 1 month early. She was in the hospital for 1 month after she was born and it tore me into as a mom to have to leave the hospital to go home while she was still in the NICU. I had plans to be a stay at home mom for the first 6 to 8 months of her life so that I could bond with her before I started back to work. Well, life happened and we ended up splitting up when she was 2 months old. I think he realized being a father was not something that he was ready for, especially a child that was going to require constant attention. I then realized that for me and her to survive that I would have to start to work again to bring in a paycheck. I was so emotional when I went back to work, it seemed like everything would make me miss my daughter. I was lucky enough that my grandmother (who raised me) wanted to take care of her while I was at work, at least then I knew she was well taken care of. I soon had the single working parent life down to a robotic flow. At first when my marriage went south I was so scared that I couldn’t pull it off but I seemed to have done it after all. I still wasn’t happy that I was working as much as I was and was always looking for ways to improve my chance at working less and making the money that we needed to live on. Before she was born my work ruled a large part of my life but after she was born work lost it’s luster for me. All of my friends knew that I was on the edge of a major life change when my daughter was 4. I changed companies that I worked for because they promised that I would only be working 40-45 hours weekly and that would mean that I could be home more. Within 4 months of taking the job I realized that 40-45 hours a week was just a fantasy that I fell for. I went to a “Bunko Party” one night with a friend as an extra and at my table realized that two women that sat across from me were work-at-home moms and one of them was even a single work-at-home mom. I immediately started to ask questions and got an immediate fever in me to find a work-at-home job. Fast forward to 6 months after that party, I was still looking for a legit work-at-home job. I went to a BBQ at a friends and was talking to his wife and told her about my journey to find a work-at-home job and she said “Can you do clerical work?”, I immediately told her yes and she said, “Great your hired.” I didn’t know that they were looking for a replacement clerical worker for their company and when she heard me talk about my need she saw that it would be a perfect fit for them. I have now been working for them as a work-at-home clerical assistant for awhile now and can’t ever imagine going back to an outside of the house job. Even though I took a significant pay cut from what I was used to, it is still the best job I have ever had. It has definitely changed me as a person and mom, ways that would have probably never happened if I had stayed on the path I was on.

Now, why did I tell you this story? I hope that it is inspiration to never give up your search for a work-at-home job. There are plenty of legit opportunities out there. Send out a resume to companies that you would like to work for and explain why a work-at-home employee would be beneficial to them and sell your skills to do so. You might be lucky and get a good response that leads to your work-at-home success. Remember that telecommuting is becoming more and more popular with companies now and some are actually creating positions specifically for us work-at-home moms. Good luck to all of you on your quest.